Author: thefrug or artimitatessex
Pairing: Sho Sakurai/Masaki Aiba
Summery:Oh don’t ever abandon me, if the cruelty of reality tries to tear us apart. -Hikaru Utada
A/N: evolardnek needed some Truth PV angst fic and sadly...this was all I could come up with (sorry it's not Ohmiya!) - this is my first venture into the Sakuraiba world...so I hope you all like it!
The mood inside the dressing room was bitter and stagnant; and I knew it was because of me. Well, it wasn’t entirely my fault. The blame was on the both of us. If he hadn’t been so damn nervous then everything would have been fine. But he was one to jump to conclusions and mistake other people’s intentions to easily. Someone would glance at us as they were walking down the street and he thought that they knew all our dirty secrets.
Of course they didn’t. How could they.
I snuck glances in the mirror as I pretended to set my hair; as if I really cared about my hair in a moment like this. The smile was absent from his face, he seemed to be watching invisible shadows dance across the opposite wall. I gave up after a minute; it was useless trying to get his attention. It wasn’t mine to have anymore.
The door opened the director walked in; all cliché with his clipboard and walkie-talkie tucked into his back pocket. He looked straight ahead at me.
“Solo shots are going to be filmed first. The order is as follows: Aiba-san, Sho-kun, Ohno-san, Ninomiya-san and last will be Matsumoto-san. Settle into the front room for now and when you finish you can come back here and relax until the dance routine.” He said with a confirming nod before he turned and left the room. I glanced at him once more before we all walked out to prepare for our solo shoots.
“Okay Aiba-kun…it’s pretty much free form. All we really need from you is a bit of emotion in your eyes. The song is fairly dark and we are going for a very angsty, pained feeling – so just try to convey that while you are mouthing the words…” The director shouted at me, I heard his words but they slipped out of my mind a second later. He wanted me to look emotional? I’m pretty sure that was going to be extremely simple; all I needed to do was look at him. The lines formed between his eyebrows and the frown graced his soft lips; even as the rest of the guys laughed and joked right beside him.
All I could do as the song started and I pretended to sing along; was think of how it all got to be this way.
“You can’t be serious?” I said as I watched him walk back and forth across the blue rug in our bedroom. Practically running between the dresser to the suitcase on the bed. Our bed.
“I’m serious. I can’t take the pressure of people finding out about us. I can’t have everything I have worked so hard to get to just…go down the drain because of something like this.” He said, keeping his eyes cast away from mine. He knew that if he looked into my pleading brown eyes he would eventually break.
“No one even suspects! I mean, look at Nino and Ohno! They grab at each other every chance they get and no one is attacking them about it!” I was about to speak again, shout more excuses at him but I felt his lips slam up against mine. I breathed him in, wrapped my shaking fingers in his hair and I tried my best to take him all in.
How his lips tasted like a mix of peppermint toothpaste and a hint of salt. It was fast and reminded me of our first nights together; when we just couldn’t get enough of each other. Except this wasn’t us having fun getting to know each other’s bodies; this was a goodbye. He pulled away from me, but I refused to open my eyes. I refused to watch him walk out of our apartment; dragging our happy memories out with him.
The song ended and the director gave me a smile.
“That was perfect, we got everything we needed! You can go wait in the dressing room until we need to again.” He said to me, but I wasn’t listening to him. I walked as fast as I could back to dressing room, at least I would have a few moments alone to think. The memories had really started to get to me while I was lip-syncing the song. It pained to me to think about that moment; the wound was still so fresh that it was hard to ignore.
I laid face down on the couch inside the dressing room, carefully not to mess up the outfit I was wearing. I took deep breaths and tried to think about anything else in the universe besides him. I don’t know how long I laid their like that, at least fifteen minutes before I stood up to straighten my jacket and re-roll the sleeves. I heard the door to the room open and I turned to see who walked in.
He stood there, in front of me now in all his perfection. He looked at me for a moment, the crease still prominent between his eyebrows. He started to walk toward me, more like a sprint really. I didn’t know if he was about to attack me with his fist or his lips. It turned out to be neither; he stopped right in front of me so we were face to face. I could practically feel his breathe against my face.
He was silent for a moment, searching for his words I expect. Then, he just took a breath and looked into my eyes.
“Masaki-chan?” He voice was like velvet.